These last two years have been difficult to live in and hard to stay positive in. April of 2020, my father was diagnosed with stage 4, metastatic Lung cancer, non-small cell. My father’s cancer had many reasons to be around, him smoking tobacco, pot, other drugs in his past before I was around or just working outdoors on road construction around diesel machines and dusty air.
There was no definition of why, just that it was there now. Thankfully like said it was non-small cell making it more possible to beat. When this started, I didn’t google this stuff. Advice, never google the survival rate for any sickness, especially cancer of any kind. Numbers are not guaranteed. There is always a chance of survival or treatment from about any sickness. But if you are reading this, I warn you there are numbers included in this article. If this is just the beginning of the situation don’t read anymore.
The reason I was more positive was that it was non-small cells and not small cells. Was because small cell cancers are more deadly, rapidly growing cancer cells and extremely difficult to defeat and survive from. Small cell lung cancer, at stage 4, which stands for distant, gives a person only a 3% 5-year relative survival rate. I am grateful that my father was diagnosed with non-small cell. But even with non-small, at stage 4 there is only a 7% 5-year relative survival rate. On this website https://www.cancer.org/cancer/lung-cancer/detection-diagnosis-staging/survival-rates.html, you can learn much more about ways to cope with it and more on numbers. I also visited many more websites such as
Metastatic Lung Cancer
https://www.cancer.net/cancer-types/lung-cancer-non-small-cell/statistics
My father battled cancer bravely and was a strong man. I don’t know if I really could have put up with the idea of possible death as a result. I have many health problems, such as epilepsy, polycystic kidney disease, a recent Kidney transplant, and symptoms of mental problems, which have never really affected me, but I still take medicine to be safe. My problems thankfully have treatments making them not deadly. Some of the problems can be treated but are life-long sicknesses to deal with and are never-ending no matter what you do.
Because of that I had positive thoughts and had confidence my father could do it. I always thought of him as being stronger than me. Even with me having brain surgery for the seizures, I thought of my father as braver, strong, and getting more results in life than I thought I ever would be able to.
It wasn’t till my father, after trying chemotherapy, failed I believe because of the Midwest derecho and all the stress that came with it and my father being too weak to help repair and clean up the mess it had caused on his property. He tried radiation after that to see if it worked. I believe radiation had more harsh side effects on my father than chemotherapy. He was also taking an immune therapy drug to boost his immune system to fight cancer at the same as the other treatments. Here are some websites for information on those types of treatments,
Cancer treatments
chemotherapy https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests–procedures/chemotherapy/about/pac20385033#:~:text=Chemotherapy%20is%20a%20drug%20treatment,different%20chemother
Immune therapy https://www.cancer.org/cancer/lung-cancer/treating-non-small-cell/immunotherapy.html
In August just before the beginning of my father’s radiation treatment, my brother commit suicide, which proved to me and my family that emotional events and thoughts have true effects on your body. More than most people want to believe.
Even with all the fighting spirit and multiple treatments, it came to a point where the cancer was still strong and growing, with nothing stopping it. The metastatic Lung cancer was winning and because of that, my father did what I thought to be weak at that moment. It was a selfish thought, and never true but it is what I thought for that moment.. Now in my mind at that time I was heavily believed if I could put up with all the sickness I had, Epilepsy, Polycystic Kidney Disease, everyone else could put up with stuff too
. My father’s medical problem was now officially deadly, which I have never had anything deadly just most things were out of my control and almost 100% unstoppable. That is what made me feel others should be able to put up with stuff if I could. My father had turned down treatment because nothing was working. To this day I wish I could have told him how strong he was to fight it as he did and how brave he was.
During the aftermath of his passing away because of metastatic lung cancer, I have had to use many diverse types of coping tools and ways to help myself. There are many resources available, one of the resources I use the most is the love and care I get from my two furry roommates. My dogs Louie and Mario are unbelievably loving and help me get out of bed every day now. My Friends and family come next, along with appointments with therapist providers and support groups for people with loved ones who have cancer and many more other resources.
Being a nerd, even just leaving this world into my science fiction, fantasy, mystery novels, or just getting lost in other worlds like Marvel Spider-Man, Final Fantasy 7 remake, Kingdom of Hearts 3 or just Fortnite online. Helps me cope with these problems. I also use the support from local peer support specialists around where I live. For more information on Peer Support CLICK HERE.
It is unbelievable how support from others in similar situations who have recovered has helped me so much. I have used cancer support groups to help me through this and they are unbelievably supportive. It has been difficult but from the love and caring of friends and family and the use of my resources from my local therapist and peer support.
. I have been surviving well. I have learned that it takes more than I imagined to break me down and that I am much stronger than I ever thought I was. I want to point out to anyone incomparable situation that there is always another day. Even without my father, I remember the good times we had together. I will always love him and be proud that he was my father.
